This is how the BJP’s manifesto in UP reads

1. “Surya namaskar” and Vande Mataram would be made compulsory in all schools, and yoga education mandatory for students.

Yes Vande Mataram should be recited morning and evening. The wording circulate breathing (you breath in when you recite Vande and you breath out when you recite Mataram). But utmost care should be taken while the sacred hymn is being recited as I am told by one of my friend that if this breathing in and breathing out becomes uncontrollable then one can choke to death. But I am sure BJP will recruit an Yoga expert and medical care center in every school.

Mohabbatein taught me that Surya namaskar is done while the sun is rising so I hope schools in UP will now open before sun rise. I am sure they will take every step so as to avoid students doing Surya namaskar the Amitabh Bachchan’s way because he is campaigning for the rival faction, Samajwadi Party.

But as far as my imagination goes, Mohabbatein will give the ideal movie to base their future dream schools. An ideal name- Gurukool, an ideal teacher- Narayan Shankar, the super rich students of rediff reading NRIs. I hope they can do away with any revolutionary like Raj Aryan, make him join ABVP and create trouble on Valentine’s day.

One of the gurus of Yoga once remarked that sex education should be substituted with yoga education and now BJP’s endorsement has put an official seal on it. So Yoga basically takes people away from the sexual desires and facilitates evil free mixing of opposite sex. Basically Yoga makes someone do away with desires so there is no risk of illicit relationships. I am sure that the gurus of Yoga are busy devising asana so as to make someone impotent, at the behest of BJP obviously. Why? Well they want to restrict the population of few communities in this country and Yoga is their silent bomb.

2. The Bharatiya Janata Party has accorded top priority to law and order and ending the criminal-politician nexus in Uttar Pradesh.

Everyone says so. But for that to happen the criminals within should be brought to justice. I needn’t say more but as far as my knowledge is concerned no political party comes to power without muscle power. Even the benign looking CPM are have murderous armies ready to butcher at any given opportunity (Nandigram is an example). The only difference is that top leader of national parties are not involved in crimes as is the case with BJP.

3. A law on the lines of the Prevention of Terrorism Act would be framed. Forces patronising the Students Islamic Movement of India and Pakistan’s Inter-Services Intelligence would be identified and dealt with.

The obvious target is AMU. When SIMI was first banned in India then students were virtually dragged like criminals from their hostels. They were treated like an international terrorist. I am sure something like that will repeat once it assumes power.

4. Women would be given 20 per cent reservation in government jobs and 50 per cent quota in local bodies elections. Girls who passed higher secondary and were living below the poverty line would be given cycles free.

Cycles!? What for? So as to commute for work as house maids? Give them aid or money to carry out their studies.

By only reaction is what Jayaprada gave after reading SP’s manifesto.