There are times I have felt that I should be harsh to people, be insensitive to their emotions and above all be mean. Its because other don’t know how to respect emotions and expectations. I usually make fool of myself by expecting others to reciprocate with the same as passion I show to them. People have work to do in life, they have got job to take care of, they have families and they just cannot sacrifice them for me! Me, a friend of theirs…just a friend of theirs! I don’t expect them others to sacrifice their beloved family or job but what I expect out of a trusted friend in at least a courteous ‘no’! There are ways to tell ‘no’ and people think that being silent is the best way!! Silence indicates a lot; on one hand it displays somone’s inability to interact or act in distressing situations and on the other it shows someone’s lack of concern for other’s emotions. I get pissed when someone uses his silence as his defense….damn I want to hear from you the reason for your NO! I feel cheated when I don’t get my answer. I invest so much in planning things out, taking care of needs and even trying to pitch in my own money but then people are like “I am really sorry..do you want to be leave my job…you are a darling..hope you understand”; I do understand but then I would have appreciated if the same message would have been orally conveyed to me. SMS and E-Mails are cheap and people generally tend to use these but then they don’t realise that are belittling my efforts by doing so.
From the category archives:
Miss S
Continuing on my previous post. What I did in that post was weave my case. Assume many things, be extremely cynical and attribute all evil to X and its friends. Its because I was MAD that day. I wanted to assume things which are anti-me and this further augment my anger towards X. Why? Well so that I can hate X to the utmost degree for what it has done to me. I assumed extreme prowess on the part of X and a victimized mentality on my part. This is what victimized mentality does to your thinking. You tend to assume things which are not at all true. What’s the big deal if I am from a town? I have had quality education, perhaps the best one can afford in India. My education has equipped me with mannerism which I can easily modify according to the society that I live. I might take time to come to terms with certain functioning but then I am in a position to harness it better. Many of my so called city friends are still inept at computer skills, Internet transactions and communication skills required at professional level. In fact I have learnt these things faster than most of my comrades. I was an absolute idiot when it came to computers; I still remember the ordeal I went through during my first year CAD (Computer aided design) classes, I didn’t even know how to copy paste! But now things have changed so much so that I now have my own domain name and also hosted my blog. When I came to IIT I was ignorant of many things in life just because I enjoyed a grand royalty back home. My father might be a central government employee but he enjoys a great social status in the town. We have many things at our disposal, from servants to cars. I was never required to go to a bank or go fetch ration for home or drive my mom to work, just because we have resources at our disposal. Compare this to X………not even remotely close 
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I sometimes feel MAD. And this madness is usually directed against someone. I am not going to talk about why I hate that person and what should be done to get over it. I was just wondering the thought process that goes inside me. I first think about all those points which are favourable to X and why X can never be sad. I then correlate those points to the situation that I am going through. X betrayed me when I needed it the most. I was alone pondering over my future whereas X was making merry with its friends. X would have made fun of my naiveness and how idiot I was to trust it. X can never fall for anyone because it has that resistance in itself. X is more concerned about itself and turns his back to people’s sufferings but still people love X. They adore it and offer every help possible to console X in times of distress. People who support X are the elitist; they are snobbish, they are erudite and someone who would never prefer to be my friend. They can do things which I cannot, they can talk about things which I cannot, they have access to happiness which I don’t and above all because of their snobbishness they will loath my attempts to get into their company. They are X’s friends so all of them are also entitled to never be sad in life. Their life is perfect; each and every one of their happiness will be satisfied. They have resources at their disposal but I have to create both the resources as well as ways to achieve them.
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