Hawai India

It’s 7:00 PM in Chennai. Normal flight traffic has just resumed after some heavy down-pour in the evening. And here is the scene at the Air India’s control room at the airport-

2 youngsters, in their late 40s, walk into the control room.

Youngster 1: Dude, will Air India fly today? How will they convince the air hostesses that their make-up won’t fade away because of the drizzle and moisture?

Youngster 2: No idea. I suppose they will wait till the drizzle has completely stopped and the humidity level has reached 60%. It’s 95% now.

The big humidity meter, hung on the central wall, was slowly showing signs of a decrease.

Youngster 2: Dude, what time is it?

Youngster 1: Wait, let me ask the Jet Airways gals. We don’t even have watches..hehe

Meanwhile in the Air India air hostess’s (AH) dressing room

AH 1: We just have 1 hour to get our make-ups on. Why can’t they recruit younger air hostesses? I am fed with this long exercise of applying lotions, powders and all this after an hour long facial.

AH 2: And what will you do? Clean plates or replace those dudes at the information desk in the waiting lounge who cannot even afford a wrist watch!

“How long will aunties take to dress up! We have been waiting for more than 3 hours now. This kind of negligence will push us to shun Air India. Even the low cost airlines are punctual about the timings!”

A faint voice from the corridor, just outside the room labelled ‘Girl’s Room (GR)’.

AH 3: Gals. Any idea about the meter reading? I am afraid I have to leave immediately or else the angry crowd will enter our GR and take us away on the flight.

AH 2: Oh my God! It must be terrible for you then. We cannot even venture out of our safe heaven to the control room. These rowdy passengers! I head someone calling us aunty!! It seems like the kingfisher gals have raised the expectation of these passengers.

The loudspeaker at the GR comes to life.

“Ladies be ready for AI 535 departure. We are extremely pressed for its departure and this means you have to venture out at humidity level of 87%. We have taken care of your transit to the plane through the escape route. Please don’t even think of taking the main door.”

Meanwhile at the control room

Youngster 1: Dude. Lets go to the washroom. Do you have a pencil?

Youngster 2: Why?

Youngster 1: Do you have it or not?

The Manager walks in.

Manager: Dudes! What are you doing here! You should be at the information desk in the waiting lounge. Now rush. It’s never too late.

The 2 youngsters leave the control room. Youngster 1 goes to the washroom on the way. The door of the washroom looks something like this-

Few contents have been erased because of the obvious reasons.

And this story repeats each day.

PS- This is just a fictional story based on my ordeal at the Chennai airport. AI staff, please don’t feel offended…we need to laugh to suppress our anger.