Dear cricket fans,

We understand that the recent events have caused embarrassment to the nation and the fans in particular. We wish to apologize for that. Saying this we also would like to clarify few issues which we feel have been ignored by the media. We are not answerable to the media but just to clarify few allegations that are and have been levied against us, we are writing this mail.

What are reservations for? They are for the upliftment of a community. Their aim is to bring everyone on the same level so that there is no bias as far as progress is concerned. Communities which are not capable of rising for intrinsic reasons are given reservations so that they too get to taste success. As far as cricket is concerned, well Australian team has raised to a new high which is not easy to achieve by others. They have made other look like minnows. If Australia’s success is not checked then the time is not far when people will lose interest in cricket. So why not have reservations for the World Cup so as to allow other teams to be interested in cricket?

A post practice conversation between Agarkar and Sachin

Sachin- You know this Greg had no respect for my skills. How can a person, who is not even aware of Indian cricket, accuse me of being mean? How on earth can I be ever not give the team the importance it deserves?

Agarkar- Yes I understand Sachchi. How can they ignore your extra-ordinary performance in the last world cup!

Sachin- I single handedly led the team to the finals in 2003. I have always displayed class which is much above anyone’s in the team. Remember the Sharjah cup in 1998? You might be playing guli cricket back then.

This is how the BJP’s manifesto in UP reads

1. “Surya namaskar” and Vande Mataram would be made compulsory in all schools, and yoga education mandatory for students.

Yes Vande Mataram should be recited morning and evening. The wording circulate breathing (you breath in when you recite Vande and you breath out when you recite Mataram). But utmost care should be taken while the sacred hymn is being recited as I am told by one of my friend that if this breathing in and breathing out becomes uncontrollable then one can choke to death. But I am sure BJP will recruit an Yoga expert and medical care center in every school.

There is a All India Eunuchs’ convention being organized in the most likely places of their occurrence, Ahmedabad.

Please spread this news , especially to NGOs (Narender Governed Organizations), so that others can benefit from it.

I wholeheartedly support and endorse this convention. This is the first time a gathering of this special class of human is being organized. I have so much respect for eunuchs who spend their whole life extorting men of their money. I have lot of sweet memories of them while travelling by train.

Picture courtesy- TOI