A post practice conversation between Agarkar and Sachin

Sachin- You know this Greg had no respect for my skills. How can a person, who is not even aware of Indian cricket, accuse me of being mean? How on earth can I be ever not give the team the importance it deserves?

Agarkar- Yes I understand Sachchi. How can they ignore your extra-ordinary performance in the last world cup!

Sachin- I single handedly led the team to the finals in 2003. I have always displayed class which is much above anyone’s in the team. Remember the Sharjah cup in 1998? You might be playing guli cricket back then.

Agarkar- Of course I do. My home TV was not working so I went to my girl friend’s house.

Sachin- Oh, you had a girl friend then? (Looks Agarkar from top to bottom)

(Agarkar frowns and sees Sachin’s tummy)

Sachin- Anyways, back then I had lot of differences with the team so I planned not to play well in the tournament. But then Dawood bhai called (sees around just to make sure no one is recording this) me. He wanted India to win so I had to give my 100%. Australians never fall for bookies so I was made to sweat on the hot pitches of Sharjah, damn them! And do you remember my innings in Madras against Pakistan? Mongia cannot be ever against me or else I will divulge out the little secret of the match.

Agarkar- Don’t tell me he took money to throw away the match!!

Sachin- No. No. Dalmiya wanted him as a west zone selector so he was asked to perform badly so that selectors could drop him easily.

Agarkar- Weird and I wonder why he obliged?

Sachin- You have no idea how much money a selector makes. I don’t want to become commentator on TV after I retire.

Agarkar- So that’s why you have been performing badly in recent games? When are you planning to retire by the way?

Sachin- Not until 2011. You see we are going to win the 2011 World Cup. Those are rumours but I am confident that BCCI cannot test the patience of Indians any more. They have to make us win now. So tell me about your future plan.

Agarkar- I really don’t know, Sachchi. I wish they can do away with fielding, I cannot dive!

Sachin- Don’t worry as Pawar will make sure you stay in the team. You have to build your image with the selectors. Spy on them so as to extract secret of their lives and then you can hold them to ransom every time you perform badly. You have enough skills to stay in the team. We don’t need asses like the Australians who put so much to win, our BCCI is by far the richest in the world.

Agarkar- I understand. So what are you upto these days?

Sachin- Nothing much. The company for which I advertised for has sent lot of biscuit packets so eat them as our breakfast. Then I go about calling my old friends and selectors so as to keep their trust intact. Some practice in the evening and then finally I am my wife hit the disc late in the night. How about you? How’s your marriage coming up?

Agarkar- My sasural wale threatened to take away their daughter if I don’t perform well in the matches. They say that their lives become hell when I play for India.

Sachin- See that’s the problem with arranged marriages. You should have had a love marriage like me. Life is so peaceful.

Sachin gets a call.

Sachin- Sorry dude have to rush. Ganguly just called to inform me that he is at Maurya Sheraton with his latest girl friend. I got to give them company.

Agarkar- Who else is coming? Shall I also join you guys? I am bored by my malevolent mother-in-law’s taunts. She gets angry when I return home early because she wants me to practice more.

Sachin- Dravid, Ravi Shastri and Azhar might join us. I think Ganguly wouldn’t prefer a newbie but don’t worry I will request him to invite you in future get-togethers.

Sachin leaves in the red BMW with his 2 body guards.